I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
