how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
