Walk of Shame. In a state park.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
