I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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