What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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