I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
