I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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