these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
