It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
