is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
