i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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