It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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