lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
