I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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