I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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