so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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