I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
