its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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