you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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