I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
