i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
