yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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