we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
