but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
