my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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