Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
