sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
