What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
