You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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