He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
