All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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