The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
