I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
