one two three fourrrrnication!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
