toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
