Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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