I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
