I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
