my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
