some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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