And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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