how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
