Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
