just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
