Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
