i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
