I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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