omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
