Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
