Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
