I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
