Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is my gift to your gina
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need water and some morals
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
