She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
