I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
